A study shows that a gene predisposes certain people to having one-night stands. The researchers plan to name this mutant gene, “Simmons.”
I have very comforting news for everyone during these tough times, especially with the holidays upon us. Relax, folks, because I just heard that Derek Jeter will get his $51 million dollars for the next three years.
Breaking news: Hundreds of previously unknown Picassos have just been found in a basement in France. Dave Picasso, Jennifer Picasso, …
Two of the eight Gosselin kids have been expelled from school. I guess those two are the stupid ones, but the other five are doing just fine, thank you.
Jessica Simpson wants a “simple wedding” this time. I think that’s lovely, don’t you? It’s beautiful when the wedding and the bride’s brain match.
Lowe’s home stores recently recalled 11 million window shades and blinds. They pose a big safety hazard. Every time you open or close them, somebody’s Toyota speeds up.
Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin plan to go hunting together in Alaska. Hopefully, each of them will catch an I.Q.
North and South Korea are going at it. Sarah Palin’s two cents: “Ya know, those rascals should simmer down. Why is it that you never hear a darn peep out of East, West, or Huntington’s Korea?”
A Florida executive says she was dismissed from her job for having “distracting” breasts. So even though her breasts got her fired, they gave all the guys in her office a raise.
Thanks for saving me $2000, TSA! I took a Spirit flight for $9 and added on TSA’s new “full body scan special”. Screw the MRI, ultrasound, and radiologist co-pay!
Lindsay Lohan has been dropped from the upcoming Linda Lovelace film, because she’s uninsurable, and too much of a load for the producers to carry. “Yeah, we thought about Lindsay, and then we all decided to drop a load!
Neil Berliner is a writer for the syndicated late-night comedy talk show, The John Kerwin Show. He is a practicing M.D. and comedy writer, and has written aired lines for 11 major roasts since 2006 including Matt Lauer, Artie Lange, Mario Batali, Andy Dick, Pat Cooper, William Shatner, and Flavor Flav. Join Neil on Facebook and follow him on Twitter .
Tell Us What You Think!
Source:
No comments:
Post a Comment