Living ain’t easy with dead celebrities cashing in big time
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Here at The Institute of Alarming Facts, it does not please us at all to learn how much money dead celebrities are raking in, while us living shmoes foolishly continue to breathe and eke out a living.
Not that we’re bitter, but come on!
As we glanced over the recently released Forbes list of the top richest dead celebrities we were amazed at how much moola is headed to their still-active bank accounts. Topping the list this year for the second time in a row is Michael Jackson. The Thriller hit-maker pulled in (are you ready for this?) a cool $170 million in the last year. And that doesn’t count all the royalties he’ll be getting for that song today as it is Halloween.
To put that into perspective, it is almost $466,000 per day.
That’s a lot of money for Mikey if, in fact, he is dead as there is sufficient evidence on Al Gore’s internet that the whole death was a hoax. Yes, we here at the Institute have a lot of spare time, and besides there’s nothing like a good death hoax to stir up the conspiracy theorist in all of us.
Speaking of death hoaxes, back in 1977, Elvis supposedly passed away, and the rumors swirled for years that he didn’t. Yet here we are 34 years later, and the King comes in at the No. 2 position, with $55 million brought in since last year.
That’s only $150,000 a day but hey, we’d take it. It’s enough to have the grave marker at Graceland fixed so that his middle name — Aaron — is spelled right. Doesn’t look like Lisa Marie or Priscilla will have to get real jobs any time soon.
In third place, the immortal Marilyn Monroe made $27 million. From her humble beginnings as the first woman on the cover of Playboy magazine, she continues to be an object of fascination. I’m sure Jackie Kennedy wasn’t a fan, but hey.
Fourth place went to Charles M. Schulz, who brought us Charlie Brown and the gang. Chuck’s estate hauled in a decent $25 million this year, and (say it with me) that’s not peanuts!
A respectable fifth place went to the late great Beatle John Lennon who was taken far too soon 31 years ago. His estate went up by $12 million, as did Liz Taylor’s.
Even Albert Einstein’s family and estate managed $10 million, and not because of the e=mc² thing either. No, it’s due to the line of Baby Einstein clothing. It’s tied to his estate, so good on Al. Guess he was a genius after all.
Next on the list ... Theodor Geisel. Who, you ask? Perhaps you’ll recognize his writing name; Dr. Seuss. The Cat in the Hat clawed in $9 million in the last year, and that will buy a lot of cat litter, or at the very least all the Green Eggs and Ham you can handle.
Also on the list, the fourth musician to grace the list. Since guitar god Jimi Hendrix kissed the sky at age 29, he earned his estate a whopping $7 million in 2010/11.
Stieg Larsson, Steve McQueen, and Richard Rogers were next, all tied at $7 million, while the quiet Beatle, George Harrison silently brought in $6 million.
If it wasn’t for that pesky being dead thing, all of these people would be enjoying untold success right now, in some cases more than while they were alive. It’s hard not to think of who will undoubtedly grace the top of this list next year, right Steve Jobs?
Here at The Institute of Alarming Facts, we wish it could be different.
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